You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
