I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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