i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
