Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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