You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
