He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
