yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
