I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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