I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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