That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
