to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
