theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
