i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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