Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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