There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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