I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
