Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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