yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
