your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
