I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
