Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
