burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
