honey bunches of taint.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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