Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Houston, we have a blender
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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