goodnight i made you a song goodbye
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
