wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
