Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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