Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
