don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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