nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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