Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
even my farts smell like vagina
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
