Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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