Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
