I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
only if we run a train.
done.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
