...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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