We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
