Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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