Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
