Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
