I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
