just tell him i said nine months
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
