btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
