Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
