But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
