I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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