if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
