Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
