its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want to make out with him forever
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
