We're like a lot better than the average bears
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
