When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
