Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
